Persona 3 Abridged Episode 1 Script
The following is the script for the first episode of Persona 3 Abridged, unedited from its original form. Some content may have been changed. Script -Guy falls in front of train- Train conductor: We apologize for the inconvenience, our uh… one passenger. Please sit tight for the rest of the trip. Or stand. What the fuck ever. -EVERY DAY’S GREAT AT YOUR OPENING- Train conductor: We’ve arrived at Gekkoukan Station. Now, please remember. Look both ways… before jumping in front of the fucking train. Asshole. -dark hour happens, music stops- Makoto: sigh This knock-off ipod’s deader than my parents… -Walks into the dorm- Makoto: Freeze! This is the cops! Just kidding. I’m robbing you. Pharos: I already called dibs. Try next door. Nah I work here. Hey, sign this. It’s nothing too important, just— -Makoto signs it- Pharos: iTunes gets away with a lot of shit because of people like you. -Black thing happens- Pharos: Okay, whoa! What’s going on! Quick grab my hand! Grab my hand! AAAAAAA- Makoto: Nice talk, buddy. Yukari: Who you calling buddy, pal?? Makoto: Short guy in stripes—is that a gun? Yukari: Yeah, and it’s loaded! Mitsuru: It’s not real. Yukari: Shit! (power goes on) Mitsuru: Don’t worry, Yukari. He’s the new transfer student. Makoto: Also, I’m robbing you. If you need me, I’ll be in my room. Mitsuru: Yukari, make sure he doesn’t take anything. (transition) Yukari: So, this is your room. Makoto: This is a door. (transition) Train Conductor: ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY! BRACE FOR IMPACT! People: (Screaming) Yukari: I hate awkward silences. So uh… how do you like the train ri--? Makoto: I don’t like trains. They got one track minds. Yukari: Eh, good one. (transition) Yukari: And welcome to Gekkoukan High! So, what do you think? Makoto: Train should’a parked closer. Too many stairs. Ms. Toriumi: Junpei Iori? Junpei: Sup! Ms. Toriumi: Yukari Takeba? Yukari: Here. Ms. Toriumi: Makoto Yuki? Makoto: Mm. Ms. Toriumi: Okay. Bye. Student A: What about the rest of us? Junpei: Hi, you know what you look like you need? Some Junpei! Makoto: Leave. Junpei: Don’t worry. First 30 days are free. Yukari: Iori! Stop harassing the new kid! Junpei: You already had your trial! Now pay up! Yukari: You really need to set a good example for the school, Junpei. Hey, Makoto, you know what you look like you need? Some— Mitsuru: Takeba! Stop harassing the new kid! We need you in the chief director’s office. Junpei: Alright, so I’ll put that on your tab then? Yukari: Fuck off! (transition) Yukari: Did you steal his permanent record? Ikutsuki: For the last time, I work here (pause), so yes. Alright, let’s see here… Name: Makoto Yuki, Age: 16. Ten years ago his parents- Oooh, I’m just gonna put these away. Mitsuru: Maybe he can work with us. Ikutsuki: I mean he’s been through worse. Yukari: That’s fucked up. Ikutsuki: Then it’s settled. We’re putting cameras in his room. Yukari, hold onto these. Yukari: Uh, sure? Ikutsuki: But give ‘em back when you’re done. They’re mine. (transition) Makoto: I can't stand trains. So why am I standing? Igor: Hello? Is this thing on? (sound of hitting a mic) Igor: Aherm. Okay. Welcome to the Velvet Room, Makoto… Yuuuuu? I can’t read this your hand writing is really awful. Elizabeth: Yuki. Igor: Yuki! Igor: We heard you didn’t read the contract. Jokes on you. You’re stuck with us now! It’s alllll downhill from here! (key appears) Igor: What the fuck?! Elizabeth: This is the key to our room. Igor: How is that key floating like that? Elizabeth: Take this key and keep it safe. Stop by whenever you need us. Igor: Yeah, but don’t stay long. (as it fades) Igor: Think he could tell I was new? Elizabeth: Probably. Natsuki: Hey Nerd! I brought you some books! So you can READ! You nerd! Bully1 Bully2 Natsuki: *Laughter* Fuuka: …Okay? (Makoto picks up her books) Fuuka: Oh, thank you for helping me. Makoto: Nah, I’m taking ‘em with me. Koromaru: (howling sound) (Morgenstemning plays) Victimfriend 1: And then I was like, “Hey, check out my sweet ass-ride,” and she was like “What’s an ass-ride?” Victimfriend 2: She didn’t know what an ass-ride was? Oh my God. Victim: Huh… Okay guys quite playing around, it was funny once, but it’s starting to get old. (hathoull sound effect) (Makoto: snores a bunch) Yukari: You know, this is kinda creepy. Can we stop? Ikutsuki: Sometimes you’ve got to get your hands dirty for the truth. Mitsuru: And the truth is…? Ikutsuki: Spying on students is boring and lame. Mitsuru: I dunno. I’m kinda gettin’ into it. Akihiko: Mitsuru! I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Mitsuru: What’s the good news? Akihiko: For the sake of my joke, I’ll give you the bad news. Mitsuru: *Sigh* What’s the bad news? -The sounds of shadows- Akihiko: Take a guess. Yukari: And the good news? Akihiko: There is none. I thought it would break the ice. Yukari: Didn’t work. -First floor- -Akhiko breaks through the door- Mitsuru: Akihiko! You alright? Akihiko: Yeah. Made it to home base. We’re safe now. Mitsuru: So you lost them on the way here? Akihiko: Mmmmmmm….. -Shadows hit door- Yukari: You led them back to base? Akihiko: Didn’t do it on purpose. Mitsuru: Takeba! Yukari: You can call me Yukari, you know. Jeez. (pause) Mitsuru: Go upstairs and take Makoto to the roof. (sounds of pounding on a door) Yukari: Makoto! Wake up! Makoto: I’m already awake. You guys party hard. (Yukari takes Makoto and they run to the roof) Makoto: Wait, hold up for a sec. Yukari: Why are we stopping? Makoto: Why are we running? Yukari: If we don’t, we’ll die! Makoto: Are you afraid of dying, Yukari? Yukari: Well, yeah. Makoto: Me too. Let’s go. Magician: Hey. Yukari: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (long-ish scream that ends up a like “oof!” or “ugh!” kind of sound) Makoto: (to himself) Oh, that’s why we’re running… Makoto: Oof. Yukari: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (she’s running with an injured leg) Magician: So did I miss or what? Yukari: (out of breath) Okay. There’s no way he can climb up here. Makoto: Hey, he’s climbing up here. Yukari: Awww! He’s climbing up here! Yukari: (still out of breath) Don’t worry, Makoto! Everything’s under control! Makoto: Doesn’t look like it. Magician: (attack sound) Yukari: Ah!! Makoto: (a little louder than usual) So can I worry now? Magician: Alright, peace. Makoto: Well, there’s always one way out. Pharos: So I got out there. That was weird! What I miss? Makoto: Per Pharos: Whoa whoa whoa!! Makoto: So Pharos: Put the gun down! Put the gun- Makoto: Na! *Bang* Pharos: Oh God! Orpheus: Bet you didn’t expect this to happen, huh, Makoto? (shot of Mitsuru, Akihiko, and Ikutsuki) Magician: Oh, hey. Orpheus: Okay, Makoto! Time to show you what I’m made o—aslkdfjaslkdfj (Fight scene with Thanatos) (shot of Mitsuru, Akihiko, and Ikutsuki) Orpheus: Hey, what happened? (shot of Mitsuru, Akihiko, and Ikutsuki) Makoto: Is it over? Yukari: Yes? Makoto: Good. -Falls down- Category:Persona 3 Abridged Category:P3A Scripts Category:P3A